There's no single 'right choice' in partner selection; you could have many great relationships with different people; the key is deciding 'is this the person I want to do it with' rather than seeking the one perfect match.

The brain has a tendency to want options and choices, but limiting options actually makes decision-making easier and increases satisfaction—this principle applies to dating as much as to other domains.

Younger people should prioritize dating more when they have flexible schedules and a larger pool of single people to choose from, rather than waiting until they're older and focusing on career—learning how to date early makes the process easier long-term.

Meeting in the middle—having both people take steps toward each other—is the ideal relationship dynamic; if one person is always reaching out and the other never reciprocates, momentum is lost.

Success for Ury is balance: not sacrificing health for career, not sacrificing husband for daughter, not sacrificing family for friends—and this is achieved by knowing priorities and ensuring they're reflected in how time is spent.

Emotional stability—how a person deals with adversity and frustration, whether they can pause and think before reacting—is a critical predictor of long-term relationship success, though difficult to assess on a first date.

Ury and her husband met in college, swiped left on each other on a dating app years later, reconnected at work, and gradually fell in love—this slow-burn relationship demonstrates that lack of initial spark can develop into deep connection over time.

Once you've gone on a date with someone, whether you should continue dating multiple people simultaneously depends on your attachment style and comfort level; anxiously attached people might find multiple dates overwhelming, while others find it helps them feel less clingy.

When rejecting someone after a first date, send a clear, kind, but brief message (e.g., 'It was great meeting you, but I don't think we're a romantic match') without lengthy explanation—86% of people prefer honest rejection to ghosting, even though they're motivated not to hurt feelings.

Research at Hinge found that double-texting (sending a second text if someone doesn't respond to your first) is not seen as a negative by most people—they understand that people are busy and messages get missed.

Your dating profile is like a billboard for yourself; it should show your three big things (what defines you), balance humor with vulnerability, avoid clichés, and use photos that clearly show what you look like and what you actually do.

Hinge's 'your turn limits' feature forces users to close conversations or match with no one else until they respond—this addresses 'attention vs connection' and nudges people toward decision-making rather than endlessly accumulating matches.

Only 11% of people experience love at first sight, meaning the majority of long-term relationships develop over time as attraction and appreciation grow gradually rather than being determined by an instant spark.

Opening conversations with an in medias res approach—starting in the middle of an interesting situation rather than biographical facts—captures attention and creates genuine connection; for example, sharing a current dilemma creates shared problem-solving rather than information exchange.

The concept of 'dating like a scientist' involves forming a hypothesis about what you think you need (e.g., a partner 6 feet tall, with a master's degree), testing it through experience, and being willing to update your beliefs based on whether the hypothesis actually predicts relationship satisfaction.

People often don't get what they need from relationships because they ask 'What do I want to add to my plate?' when they should ask 'What am I willing to take away?' to make time for dating and relationships.

Don't use pictures with other people's pets to make your profile more appealing if you don't actually have a pet; this is 'dog baiting' and misrepresents your life.

Dan Gilbert's research showed that when people cannot change their mind about a choice, they're happier with that choice than when they can change it—commitment increases satisfaction because it reduces post-choice rumination and doubt.

When breaking up with someone, the guiding principle should be empathy; don't let them discover the problem for the first time when you're breaking up; share issues as they arise so breakup conversations don't introduce new information.

50% of the population is securely attached, and these people are so good at relationships that they often get partnered off quickly, leaving anxious and avoidant people to date each other repeatedly.