No. 1 Performance Coach: What the Best in the World Know About Success
What this covers
What if reaching the next level of success wasn’t determined by another skill, degree, or course but by something that changed on the inside?
That’s what Dr. Jim Loehr believes, and in this episode, he reveals everything he knows about mental toughness and winning the mind game. Shane and Loehr discuss the radical importance of the stories you tell yourself—including how they can damage your kids—and how to change the negative stories you believe. Loehr also shares the best reflection questions to ask yourself to reveal personal blindspots, the importance of rituals for calming anxiety and performing under pressure, and how the best in the world use their recovery time effectively.
Dr. Jim Loehr is a world-renowned performance psychologist and author of 16 books. From his more than 30 years of experience and applied research, Dr. Loehr believes the single most important factor in successful achievement, personal fulfillment, and life satisfaction is the strength of one’s character. Dr. Loehr possesses a masters and doctorate in psychology and is a full member of the American Psychological Association.
-- 00:00 - Intro 01:14 - Parenting and storytelling 04:09 - How to determine whether or not the stories are limiting or enabling you 06:35 - What the stories world-class performers tell themselves 12:56 - How to change the stories you tell yourself 21:20 - Questions to journal about 24:10 - Private voices vs. public voices (and how they impact your kids) 29:26 - How to help your friends change their stories 35:24 - How to better come alongside your kids to prevent destructive behavior 43:00 - What Loehr knows about high performers that others miss 51:06 - On time and energy 01:04:20 - Conquering the "between point" ritual 01:09:44 - On rituals vs. habits 01:13:48 - How to increase your mental toughness 01:21:45 - On success --
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Jim Loehr argues that the stories we tell ourselves—internally and the voices we transmit publicly to others—fundamentally shape our destinies, performance, and well-being; success requires intentional editing of limiting narratives and deliberate cultivation of empowering ones through practices like handwriting, journaling, and ritualized energy management.
- Public voice becomes inner voice: parents' and coaches' words become children's internal dialogue that drives their beliefs and life outcomes
- Stories are malleable through deliberate practices: handwriting, voice memos, and journaling rewire neural pathways more effectively than visualization or external coaching
- Energy, not time, is the currency of impact: time only gains value when intersected with intentional energy investment aligned with purpose
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A parent's public voice becomes a major factor in how their children's private voice will speak to them as they grow older; what parents say publicly shapes children's internal dialogue and self-conception.
“I began to realize that the way I spoke to my three sons um my public voice became a major factor in the way their private voice would speak to them as they grew older”
The voice you inherited from your parents as a child—unless you became aware of it and intentionally changed it—will be brought to your children particularly under stress.
“the voice of your parents unless you became very aware of it and intention Ally changed it you're going to bring that voice particularly under stress to your children”
Kids don't respond well to being preached to; they respond better when parents tell stories or anecdotes about their own learning that shift perspective without defensive triggering.
“what kids don't want to be is preached to they don't want to be preached to the great wisdom Seekers uh in in our history when they were trying to Let's say in the American Indian tradition they would tell stories they tell stories that actually don't bring defensiveness what defensiveness does it means I'm locking you out I don't you're threatening me with your bloody preaching and so the more parents can say I'll just give you a quick little anecdote here about my life that I learned”
The role of great teachers and coaches is to help young people discover their strengths and light the fire of engagement; a good coach/teacher finds out how to help them understand they don't know what they're good at until they try many things.
“and that's the beauty of a great teacher a great coach try to find out how they can light the fire of a young boy or girl and help them understand that you don't know what you're good at until you try a lot of things and eventually you're going to you're going to land somewhere and life is so much better when you're in pursuit of something that you really um are excited about and you love to learn”
The first guideline for storytelling is that the story must be true and aligned with objective reality; people often make up convenient stories rather than facing what is actually true.
“the first thing is the rule has to be true is this aligned with reality so the first awareness am I making stuff up here that just is convenient for the moment to maybe make me feel better or is this aligned with really objective reality”
Teaching people to be excited about what they could become and what they might find great joy in mastering is a forever gift that never stops giving.
“that's the gift teaching people to be excited about what you could become and what you might really find great joy in mastering if you can do that as a as a teacher or as a parent that is a forever gift that will never stop giving”
The second storytelling guideline is that the story must be aligned with the best part of who you really want to be, your values, and your sense of purpose, and should help you feel more optimistic and hopeful about your future rather than limiting your sense of capability.
“another one is is this story that I'm telling myself is it aligned with the best part of me with who I really want to be in life my values my sense of purpose does this story take me where I want to go in life does it does it help me feel more optimistic and hopeful about my future or does it in fact give me a sense that you know I I'm not that capable world is tough I probably can't make it why am I doing this this is stupid”
To live a big life and be a big spender of energy, you must be a big investor in recovery—sleep, nutrition, hydration, and rest must be honored to sustain high output.
“so you got to chase you got to chase old man's stress you got to go after it that's when the life lights up when you're on fire doing something making something happen expending lots of energy and doing it in a way that doesn't compromise your ability to produce energy eating good food getting your good recovery at night at sleep drinking and hydrating a lot doing all the things that actually enhance energy production so that you can be a big spender you want to be a big investor just like Wall Street you got to make a lot of deposits and if you don't do that you're going to Bonk and you're going to blame old man's stress it wasn't old man's stress that killed you it was that you didn't honor the recovery”
Social media is a powerful destructive force for kids' self-esteem; their self-worth becomes tied to the last post, digital criticism is impossible to shake, and peer feedback from social media can determine whether a fragile child continues to live.
“they're getting so beaten up their self-esteem is so fragile and the because they don't really have to hold you know kids are not held accountable for what they say and they can't see them when this digital criticism comes across they can't shake it that's why so many kids today are struggling their self-esteem is like so fragile they're only as good as the last post that came up and when someone just you know gives them a chilling um source of feedback no no matter how untrue you can't stop it because it comes from their peers”
Social media can have positive benefits like a stove can cook food, but it can also burn you; people must understand how to protect themselves and their families from its destructive potential or it can seal their fate by destroying meaningful connections and making them not want to live.
“it's like touching a hot stove you can use a stove to cook and to do all kinds of great things with but it can burn the hell out of you and if you don't understand how to protect yourself and your family from that um it can completely take all these very delicate impulses and stories in your head that actually seal your fate you don't even want to live because you know you have no real meaningful connections to other people particularly your peers”
The stories we tell ourselves either enable us to fulfill and have a great life or take us in tragic directions; these stories control our destiny, belief in ourselves, and joy and happiness in life.
“the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we tell others either enable us to fulfill and to have a great life or actually take us in tragic directions”
It's not stress that kills you, it's chronic stress unabated by recovery; stress hormones are the hormones of life, and a high-stress environment creates thriving if paired with genuine recovery.
“I wrote a book called Stress For Success it's like it's not stress that's killing you it's chronic stress it's stress unabated by recovery and if you're in a high stress environment you better start learning how to get the recovery and you'll start thriving in the stress and in fact the hormones of stress are the hormones of life you take all the stress out of your life you're going to start shriveling up”
Mental toughness is insufficient; ideal performance requires integration of mental, emotional, physical (fitness), and spiritual (purpose/meaning) dimensions; everything is interconnected.
“when I started I called it mental toughness and I began to realize that mental is only one component emotions also are a huge shoot driver of this chemistry and maybe more important than what you're thinking... you can just completely come apart because your Fitness you you haven't really achieved the right Fitness so now your cells are not getting enough oxygen or you're haven't eaten properly now you're really in a glucose challenge um and maybe you don't even want to play motivationally maybe you know maybe this is something your parents wanted you to do but you don't really have a purpose... so um we are a fully integrated species and we've got to understand that everything we do affects everything else”
Rather than imposing rules ('I'm taking your phone away'), parents should involve children in critical thinking about social media's impact: 'Has anyone ever hurt you with something they said? Why do you spend so much time? What's helping and what's hurting?'
“you bring them into the conversation as opposed to being the know-it-all parent because you didn't grow up with social media so they don't even think you understand it... have you been hurt by what someone has ever said to you on on your social media and what why why do you think you spend so much time on social media what is it doing to help you and what is it doing that might hurt you”
Even if a music teacher pushes classical music and a student resists, allowing the student to learn music they want to learn (modern genres, rock, etc.) will cause the learning curve to go off the charts and may eventually lead them back to classics.
“and then you go well let's learn something you would like to learn and so they start playing things that really excite them and all of a sudden the learning curve goes off the charts and maybe at some point they're going to go back and want to play the classics but if you start with something they're not that interested in you may kill the Golden Goose”
Changing behavior requires linking the change to a purpose so powerful it grabs you and ushers you into the storm; without purpose, small rituals (getting up at a certain time, eating at a certain time) are mechanisms to rewire the circuitry.
“you have to link this Mission which is maybe very difficult to get off of drugs or whatever you have to get a purpose that is so powerful that it just it just grabs you and ushers You Into the Storm and you will not surrender and most of the time it's these little tiny habits getting up at a certain time setting the alarm um having breakfast always at a certain even if it's a small amount you get yourself started”
The best way to help someone who is blaming circumstance or avoiding responsibility is not to shame them, but to gradually shift their narrative through careful questions and perspective shifts that don't trigger defensiveness.
“how do you get through to this inner core of a person to their inner voice this control Central um because your kids can just shut you out they hear you but they don't really it doesn't register... what kids don't want to be is preached to... the more parents can say I'll just give you a quick little anecdote here about my life that I learned”
Loehr brought the matador's wisdom back to the Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy and developed the 'Matador walk'—teaching tennis players how to walk, turn, look, and control their eyes to walk fearless and feel fearless—and it had a profound effect despite initial skepticism.
“I brought it back to the states to the Nick biter Tennis Academy and we showed all this video of bull fighters and we developed what I call the Matador walk and I would take uh tennis players out on the court and teach them how to walk how to turn how to look how to control their eyes and I will say it had a profound effect they thought it was a little weird in the beginning but they saw the results they were getting and how they felt much more if you want to be Fearless you look Fearless if you want to control the chemistry you have to look on the outside the way you want to feel on the inside”
When you spend time with family but your energy is exhausted and you're watching the game and irritable and cranky, you're not moving the needle forward and actually getting a reverse return—the story your family tells themselves is that you don't really care about them despite the time spent.
“I mean we have this almost this tradition of time management being everything I was home for four hours with my family I should get some kind of an award with it but when we look at where your energy went you didn't have you know you were watching the game you were irritable cranky on and on and on and you didn't move the needle positively in fact you got a reverse return on them thinking that you really care deeply about them”
Many people struggling with addiction (drugs, alcohol, painkillers) never intended or dreamed they would become addicted; factors like mental illness, injury, genetics (nucleus accumbens and dopamine sensitivity), and lack of knowledge about addictive potential lead ordinary people into addiction despite good intentions.
“no one thinks that that's going to happen to them... sometimes you know some of these folks are victims of mental illness sometimes they uh have had a very very severe injury maybe an accident and they started taking painkillers and they got addicted that we didn't know how addictive this some of these different classes of um you know anesthesia analgesics... the nucleus of Cubans and the release of dop amine and some people are just far more likely to become addicted and even a single you know experiment with some of these drugs and but they never intended they never dreamed if they had known this was going to be the consequence they would not have gone there”
Parents and coaches must realize they never know when something they say or do will impact someone in a powerful way, so every interaction is potentially life-changing.
“we never know when something that we say or do is going to impact someone in a powerful way but most of the number ones and really high success athletes that I've worked with never never really dreamed”
Many parents believed that harsh, critical language develops toughness in kids, operating from the assumption that 'life is tough so I need to prepare them with a tough voice,' but this approach creates a two-front battle where children fight the world and themselves simultaneously.
“if you came from a very tough culture that may have been the way parents thought for a long time that's how you raise tough kids you just have a tough language not realizing that that's really you know it's not what the evidence shows you want them to be truthful straight up you may want them to have a voice that's you know at times really tough and you they pull themselves up by their bootstraps and they they don't they're not wimps they're going to be strong and H handle life's stresses... but it's not this harsh inner critic where they're actually fighting two battles all the time one with the outside world and one with themselves it's an exhaustive you know twoof front battle”
Handwriting had the greatest impact on neurological functioning and the way neural networks form and change compared to visualization, voice training, or other methods tried at the Human Performance Institute.
“we tried everything and we had a lot of very smart people we had some of the smartest people I mean our faculty was one of the most brilliant faculties I think will ever ever assemble and we tried visualization we tried um you know all kinds of um very interesting ways of kind of changing the way people actually process thinking and thoughts um over a period of time over and again and what we finally concluded was that your hand your hand writing probably had the greatest impact on neurological functioning on the way in which these neuron networks formed and were changed than anything else we could do”
Humans are oscillatory beings in an oscillatory universe; nothing is flat or linear (except death); every biopotential in human physiology is oscillatory, so to have a big life you must be a wave maker and recover quickly.
“we are oscillatory beings and an oscillatory Universe nothing is a flat straight line nothing is linear except death every biop potential in the human physiology is oscillatory everything and so we have to be wav makers we have to understand that if we want to have a big life we got to be spending a lot of energy which means youve got to be recovering a lot of energy”
When studying best competitors, Loehr found they all had common between-point behaviors that weren't personality-driven; he then developed a 16-second training system modeled on these common elements that became one of the most widely watched videos in tennis history.
“we took the best competitors on the men's and women's tour at that time and looked at all those things that they did in common that were not just personality Dynamics or anything else and we developed a training system between points based Bas on those those um 16 seconds we found that Stephie graph at that time took the shortest amount of time of of anyone on the tour and basically so we said you need at least 16 seconds so some people would just walk right up and serve or just right away jump into it and we said no no no no no the system has to recover”
Loehr's research found that the fitter a player was, the faster their heart rate came down between points; they developed a computer to determine each player's ideal heart rate range, as too-high heart rate (from anger, frustration) blocked recovery while too-low blocked intensity.
“we found that Stephie graph at that time took the shortest amount of time of of anyone on the tour and basically so we said you need at least 16 seconds so some people would just walk right up and serve or just right away jump into it and we said no no no no no the system has to recover you have to make waves and we began to realize that the fitter you were the faster your heart rate would come down and we actually developed a computer that actually determined what your ideal range of heart rate was um prior to starting a point if your heart it was too high or if it was too low because you kind of gave up and there was no intensity you're not going to likely perform well and anger would send your heart rate over the top Fury anger frustration all that stuff it would block recovery”
We are creatures of habit (the 'unbearable automaticity of being'); most days unfold automatically based on how we're wired habitually, but humans have the unique ability to pause between stimulus and response and create a novel response.
“it's called the unbearable automaticity of being we are creatures of habit and some of those habits just destroy us... our days pretty much unfold automatically you're going to do tomorrow pretty much what you've are wired up habitually to do now the beauty of being human is that we have the ability to pause between the stimulus and response and create a novel response um and that takes a certain amount of time and a lot of energy infusion until we rewire the circuitry”
The fitter you are, the faster your heart rate comes down (recovery); training aerobic and anaerobic capacity essentially trains the system to recover more quickly, enabling you to spend more energy sustainably.
“if we want to have a big life we got to be spending a lot of energy which means youve got to be recovering a lot of energy so in our training we put a lot of emphasis on training the mechanisms of recovery um how do we train the body to recover more quickly so when you do intervals and um in in training uh aerobic an anerobic capacity what you're doing is basically uh training the system to recover more quickly and you know the the fitter you are the faster your heart rate would come down”
Achieving ideal performance state requires delicate neurophysiological balance; too much cortisol (defensive/survival hormone) throws everything out of kilter, increasing brain wave frequency, tightening muscles, and reducing peripheral vision.
“there is a there's an internal chemistry that's bubbling up that actually drives those feelings and emot there's a physiology that's allowing there a very delicate balance in the neurophysiology and in the physiology of the whole body this B Mind Body Connection and so the question is how do we train to actually get all of this chemistry to line up when we want it most if you get a little too much cortisol which is from which is more of a defensive survival based hormone it throws everything out of kilter all of a sudden the brain waves start going faster you get tighter you get Tunnel Vision”
We do not have direct contact with reality; data streams into our five sensory portals, and our brain must make sense of it with a preference for information already loaded in our minds, tending to purge contradictory information rather than incorporate it.
“we don't have direct contact with the real world we have all this data streaming into to our five sensory portals and then our big neuroprocessor has to make sense out of that and there's a preference for making sense uh in terms of what's already been loaded in so if you get information that might be somehow contradictory to what's in there you tend to just Purge it you tend not to listen or you tend not to incorporate it”
Carol Dweck's growth mindset—the notion that abilities are developed rather than fixed—is an example of a perspective shift that may not seem to land the first time a parent shares it but can begin to change a child's narrative over time.
“Carol DW the brilliant developmental psychologist who developed this notion of mindset you know there's a there's a way to look at something and they may not really look like they're hearing it the first time you say it but it it may register because even when you're saying it they may not allow it into the inner recesses of this command Center but you're hoping that over time that mindset will begin to change”
Loehr stopped speaking in certain ways to his sons once he realized that casual, off-the-cuff comments—even if not aligned with his values or how he wanted them to think of themselves—could become embedded in their inner voice and shape their long-term self-perception.
“I began to realize that the way I spoke to my three sons um my public voice became a major factor in the way their private voice would speak to them as they grew older when I realized that I stopped on a dime because I didn't want something that I might have said halfhazard you know I said something off the cuff you know that was actually not aligned with my values or who I really wanted them to think of themselves as”
Having close family members or friends who have suffered through addiction and its consequences is an opportunity to help prepare loved ones to be very careful and potentially save them from similar tragic and unfortunate outcomes.
“anytime you can prepare your loved ones to be very careful you can save a lot of very very sad terribly unfortunate um consequences in life”
Loehr's early coach Guy Gibbs in basketball believed in him more than he believed in himself at a time when he was struggling with confidence, and this belief transformed his life and led to his crediting Gibbs in many of his books.
“I had a a great coach in the early part of my athletic career in basketball and he saw something in me that I never saw in myself and uh his name was Coach Guy Gibbs in basketball and uh he came into my life at a very important time I was kind of struggling with confidence and somehow this guy that I really felt was an extraordinary human being and that's the way we look at most of our coaches I mean coaches have a special place in our lives he really just took me aside and said listen lar you can be really good and I'm going to push you until you get there and I want you I believe in you more than you believe in yourself”
World-class performers typically had a love affair with their sport or domain and were not forced to pursue it; when parents force children to become number one, it doesn't last and is 'really unfortunate,' whereas those who developed intrinsic love for what they were doing sustained success.
“as they pursued a love affair with their sport it's very hard if you're forced to become number one in the world with a parent hanging over your head or it just doesn't last it's just it's really unfortunate and I've been there many times it's not like you're starting out saying I want to be number one in the world and you really believe it and you start and you're just beginning with the sport um there are a few that said they kind of knew I know um Novak jokovic who's probably the greatest tennis player is the greatest tennis player of all time one of his early coaches her name was y Elena said of all the young athletes that she had trained as a young little boy she told him that he had the the greatest potential that anyone that he had ever seen”
People who developed moral and ethical character strengths alongside performance skills were the 'true winners' and were much more likely to sustain success because everyone around them wanted them to succeed, whereas those focused only on winning faced resentment.
“I began to see is that people who developed these moral and ethical skills from their coaches and parents along with the skills of the sport they were the true winners and they were much more likely to sustain the success because everyone wanted them to succeed”
One of the biggest insights at the Human Performance Institute was the embarrassing realization that health ignites performance; the healthier you are, the more energy you have, and the more energy you bring to your performance arena, the better you perform.
“one of the big big insights that we had at The Institute which was so embarrassing when we finally had all the evidence to support it was that Health ignites performance the healthier you are the more energy you're going to have and the more energy you have aligned with the with whatever performance Arena you're in you're going to be better”
The way you speak to yourself (inner voice) is something that may have been purely automatic and acquired unreflectively, but it can be examined and intentionally edited by raising awareness of the critic inside and asking whether this is aligned with who you really want to be.
“it's there's this a level of awareness and I have tried in my career to raise the curtain so so that people understand that there's something going on that you know maybe was purely automatic and maybe the voice you got you never really intentionally acquired but suddenly you have this critic inside yourself or this Storyteller that we all have you have to stop and reflect is this I have rules of Storytelling”
Loehr's research and work with athletes and clients showed astonishing successes in narrative change and performance improvement, and these successes came from years of practice and data collection to refine the understanding of how the human system is engineered.
“we've had so many astonishing successes and I I did I had no idea any of this was going to surface it all took years of practice and data collection to refine it and I feel very grateful to have had that opportunity what I call a living lab for helping distill a lot of the mysteries of how this miraculous human system is engineered”
Time only has value in its intersection with energy; time management frameworks are built on the flawed premise that investing time in your values guarantees success, but without energy investment, time yields nothing.
“time only has value in its intersection with energy therefore it becomes Priceless in its intersection with extraordinary energy... the investment of time time has no value has no veilance has no Force until energy intersects until energy intersects until time intersects with energy you really have nothing”
All energy in the human body comes from the mitochondria via the union of oxygen and glucose (the Krebs cycle); when depleted of glucose or oxygen, energy dynamics decline quickly.
“all energy comes from the same place from the mitochondri of the cells and that's basically the union of oxygen and glucose called the kreb cycle and when you're depleted with with glucose or oxygen energy Dynamics start to you know decline pretty quickly”
Handwriting by hand is more powerful for story editing than typing on a computer, according to data collection at Loehr's institute (though researcher James Pennebaker has not found this distinction).
“with our data collection we found that it's more powerful to do it by hand than it is on a computer and so we have everybody do it you can print it or you can put it you know cursive writing however you want to do it but we prefer that you do it by hand”
The message from coaches to young athletes should be: 'Use this sport to help you grow up and become a better human being, and if you become number one in the world in doing it, great—no one loses.' This frames success around growth rather than rank.
“the message is Right use this sport to help you grow up and become a better human being and if you become number one in the world in doing it you know no one loses I don't care how far you go but when you start out it's pretty hard to believe you're going to be number one if it is it's probably just you're blowing smoke into the world”
If you surround yourself with comfort (marshmallows and pillows), you become less able to handle stress; eventually marshmallows aren't sweet enough and pillows aren't soft enough—you must chase stress to remain capable.
“if I surround you with marshmallows and pillows eventually all you're going to be able to deal with is marshmallows and pillows and the pillows eventually won't be soft enough and the marshmallows won't be sweet enough so you got to chase you got to chase old man's stress you got to go after it that's when the life lights up when you're on fire doing something making something happen expending lots of energy”
When energy reserves are low, demonstrating care by spending limited energy is more meaningful than abundant time investment with abundant energy, because it shows true sacrifice of one's scarcest resource.
“if your energy reserves are low then people know you really care because you're adding up your you're you're anting uh up the the resource that you're very low on you're not just you know hanging out because you don't have a lot of energy as a father as a mother with your children they know when you're tired now you're coming up with the goods you are going to deliver on the one thing that people want because they know you care”
At the Human Performance Institute, the entire training system was set up on a science foundation centered on energy dynamics, treating humans as reservoirs of potential energy that must be converted into kinetic energy through intentional use.
“when we set up the human performance Institute um I had come to understand first of all I wanted to set it on a science foundation and almost all science is about energy whether it's physics or chemistry or yeah everything is fundamentally goes back to energy Dynamics we are reservoirs of potential energy and we're trying to figure out how to convert that into kinetic energy to have a big life you have to be a big spender but if you're going to be a big spender of energy you have to this is a system that has to be renewed constantly”
Matador Martin Vasquez explained that bullfighters control fear not through mental technique but through controlling physical presence: every step, turn, shoulder position, eye position is trained meticulously from boyhood, and the bull perceives the fighter's lack of fear through their physical presence.
“I asked um Martin I said listen he said you've come all the way from America what is it you need to know and I said I just need to know how a bull fighter controls their nerve NES how do you control fear... and he said have you ever seen a bull fighter in the ring show anything but Supreme confidence... he said we start training as a young boy at a very early age on how to walk how to turn how to carry our shoulders ERS where to put our eyes every single detail is done meticulously and he said the bow can see that and knows that you have no fear and that you dominate the bull by your presence”
The ultimate mission framework asks: What is the ultimate mission you're on in life such that failure is not possible if you're going to be successful? This mission-linking approach helps people understand they have choice in how they spend their precious energy and time.
“we ask people to really describe in their language what is the ultimate Mission they're on in life the mission for which failure is not possible if they're going to be successful in life and so we try to get them to understand that we're all here for a purpose you had no choice in terms of showing up on planet Earth at this time but you do have a choice as to how you want to spend the energy the precious energy you have and the time that you have while you're here and what would Define ultimate success of your life”
The 16-second cure in tennis: between points (roughly 16-25 seconds), players can achieve complete and total recovery through ritualization, validated via heart rate telemetry, cortisol levels, and oscillatory brain frequencies.
“we developed this what is called The 16c Cure in tennis where in 16 seconds between points when you ritualize it you can get complete and total recovery and we validated that um in using uh Telemetry heart rate Telemetry we looked at levels of cortisol and everything else oscillatory frequencies of the brain”
Full engagement is an acquired ability to invest your full energy right here right now regardless of the situation, aligned with the mission; it is a skill set that is difficult but trainable.
“I developed this notion of full engagement which is investing it's an acquired ability to invest your full invest energy right here right now um regardless of what the situation is uh aligned with the mission and U it's hard it's difficult but it's a skill set”
The key insight from the Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy was that being on time in practice guarantees nothing—some players were perfectly punctual but not engaged, failed to invest energy, got worse, or didn't learn anything despite showing up.
“I was at the Nick Boler Tennis Academy and I was there for six years as director of sports science and director of sports psychology and uh i w watch um all of the players there we had 240 of the best players in the world and they would be completely on time because they were demanded to be on time... what I began to realize is that even if you were there on time there no way guaranteed you were going to learn anything in fact we actually saw were some of the kids because they hated it so much they were perfectly on time they got worse they were worse from all the practice”
In high-stress, energy-depleting environments (12-hour nursing shifts, long surgeries, military Special Forces), the system must be trained to oscillate and recover within brief windows to prevent complete depletion and choking.
“if you're in an in an environment where it's sucking all your energy up you have nothing left like nurses who are on 12-hour shifts we worked a lot in medicine or some of these emergency surgeries are very long and very they're brutal well how do you prepare for that how can you oscillate in that 12-hour shift how can a surgeon oscillate effectively so that their blood sugar levels don't get so low that in an athlete's life when that happens they Bonk they choke”
Ideal Performance State: The 12-descriptor constellation of how athletes feel when performing at their absolute best—very calm, physically relaxed, emotionally confident, lots of positive energy—observed across 21 different sports and all levels from linesman to gymnast.
“I asked them for the descriptors that they would use and I was blown away because they all used it looked like they all copied from each other they they were very calm physically relaxed emotionally confident lots of positive energy um there was a whole constellation there were 12 of them that surfaced and I used that as I refer to it as their ideal performance State and whether it was a linesman in football or a gymnast uh it was like levels of intensity might change but the feeling that they had when they're performing from inside was similar across all sports”
You can control chemistry from the inside out (meditation, thoughts, private voice) or from the outside in (physical posture, muscle movement, how you carry yourself), and both pathways contribute to or undermine your ability to achieve your potential.
“you can control your Chemistry from the inside out or from the outside in you can work with meditation with thoughts with ideas with private voice you know or you can work from um the outside working with your actual physical muscles and the way in which you carry yourself all of it can either contribute or undermine your ability to achieve your potential”
The Youth Performance Institute recruits young people who have overcome significant challenges and uses them as peer mentors for struggling youth, because peer mentoring is the most effective way to reach kids compared to adult messaging.
“I'm working on a a board and a program for young people it's called the youth performance Institute and we're recruiting kids who've been through all kinds of really challenging moments and really have come through uh on the other side of it and we're using them as mentors for kids who are struggling and so we believe that the best way to get to kids is through the mentoring of other kids who have been through the wars and have figured out answers”
The effective story-editing protocol involves creating a new story with your hand, rewriting it several times from memory, reading it aloud, recording your voice memo where you speak the story to yourself, playing it back, and listening to your own voice coaching you until the neural pathways transfer the information and the story begins to change over time.
“creating the story that works for you with your hand and rewriting it you know several times from memory and then reading it and even using the voice memo on your phone where you actually tell your you talk to yourself over the phone your voice memo capability and then you play it back and you listen to yourself coaching you so you you actually it's not having someone from the outside coaching you with their public voice you are taking your private voice and making it public and now listen listening to it and trying to get a new way of having these neurop Pathways in your brain transfer information and eventually over time the Story begins to change”
Journaling functions as an 'addiction' that changes one's mindset and template for dealing with life's storms; writing about a day's challenges and gratitude transforms how one faces inevitable difficulties throughout the day.
“I started journaling and I mean I get up in the morning and I have to do it it's almost like an addiction now and I try to program my day and look at all the things and when anybody ask me a question about you know how am I feeling today my response is if I'm feeling a little foggy and I have a headache or whatever I'll say you know I have a little I have a few things that are bothering but I got to tell you I'm excited about having another opportunity to push the needle to learn a little bit more I'm grateful for this day and if you put that down in writing something magical happens it's like it changes the whole kind of template um the the the screen the mindset you have for you know dealing with all the storms that you are inevitably going to face all day long”
Many world-class performers never dreamed they would reach the level they achieved; they started with love for their sport or domain, expanded possibilities emerged as success accumulated, and they were surprised to pinch themselves upon realizing they became number one in the world.
“when they started often they just they had a love affair with whatever sport they were involved in they never had any dreams or they just you know they just thought these are people who have become number one in the world I've had 17 people that have become number one in the world and when they look back they're so astonished that where they ended up because they never dreamed this was ever going to happen”
When children were given books they wanted to read (rather than assigned classics), their engagement and reading competency increased dramatically, suggesting that matching student interest with content is more effective than imposing canonical curriculum.
“we did I think we did this for uh 50 or so classrooms per year for like 5 years and I still get emails from those teachers saying how unbelievable the difference in the children was when the [books were chosen by students]”
If a golfer's limiting story is 'I've never been a good putter, I don't seem to have the ability, I've always had trouble putting,' the empowering alternative story is 'I'm one of the poor putters on tour right now, but I am an athlete and one day I'm going to be one of the best putters, I'm going to devote more energy and effort, make it my priority, love doing it, and celebrate misses as learning opportunities.'
“I hate putting I've never been a good putter in sport and if I if I could just be a great putter I would be on the PGA tour list one of the top guys or women but and then the story you tell your yourself is I just don't seem to have the ability to be a good putter I've always had trouble putting... here's the story that works for you uh at this point of my life the truth is if you look at my stats I'm one of the poor p you know and one of the poor uh Putters um on the PJ tour or the LPGA Tour that's true but um I have I'm an athlete and I have to tell you one day I'm going to become one of the best Putters if not the best putter on tour and I'll tell you why because I am going to devote more energy more effort I'm going to make this the most important part of my game and I'm going to love doing it”
Loehr's personal mission is to live what he teaches—to not teach something he doesn't do himself or only recommend to others; his success is measured by whether an audit of his life would reflect how he actually lives according to his teachings.
“my probably the most compelling purpose is that I live what I teach and that is that I don't teach to others something I don't do myself or that I think is only for other people... the question that I ask myself every day I look back on yesterday and I go did I live what I believe is really the most important Mission I'm on and was I consistent in terms of fulfilling what I believe my ultimate purpose is”
Loehr evolved from writing books focused on mental toughness to focusing on character strengths; he realized that who you become as a consequence of the pursuit is more important than what you achieve.
“I never thought I would end up in the character space and I wrote most of my early books on mental toughness and it was all about how do you get so strong mentally and emotionally that you can act out compete anybody... but then I began to realize something very different and I began to notice that the careers of those who who really developed these incredible um what I what I call character strengths be they performance or really moral and ethical character strengths I began to realize that more important than what you achieve is who you become is a consequence of the chase”
A habit is something you may or may not do, good or bad, often acquired unconsciously; a ritual is an intentionally acquired habit that serves a specific mission.
“a habit is um something that just you know may or may not help you in life you have a bad habit of eating too much or you just don't hydrate enough... a ritual as we Define it is an intentionally acquired habit that serves the mission whatever the mission is”
Most people have been hoodwinked by the time-management paradigm into believing time is everything; realizing that energy is actually what moves the needle can feel uncomfortable and like an indictment of past behavior.
“now you realize it energy is everything and once you land on that on that particular platform you know as you said how much sleep I'm getting the quality and quantity the frequency of my meals um and to really look at how the system was engineered from an energy perspective... and for you to pursue that it actually is an indictment it's a little bit uncomfortable after youve been hoodwinked into believing that time time is everything”
Loehr himself hated school (Jesuit education, rigid, strict, without joy) until he found a few teachers who brought joy into learning, after which he became on fire about learning and has remained a forever learner.
“I wasn't that way in school I hated school school I was a product of Jesuit education very rigid very strict no joy not a lot of Happiness um but I mean I'm a reasonably intelligent guy... I just never found much joy until I found a few teachers who actually brought joy out in the learning process and then all of a sudden I started to get on fire and I am as on fire today about learning”
Novak Djokovic's early coach Yelena Ristic told him as a young boy that he had the greatest potential she had ever seen, which changed his perception of himself and likely contributed to his trajectory.
“Novak jokovic who's probably the greatest tennis player is the greatest tennis player of all time one of his early coaches her name was y Elena said of all the young athletes that she had trained as a young little boy she told him that he had the the greatest potential that anyone that he had ever seen she had ever seen and I think that kind of changed his perception of himself”